As far as the maternal side of my family goes (An Open Letter) :

I'm not tolerating the judgement anymore, and I am done with all of you. I don't care if you never passed any yourself, enabling it and allowing it to happen behind my back makes you just as guilty and I don't feel bad in saying so, I feel ashamed of all of you.

I have no vigilante penance to pay because I differ from you so greatly. Under normal circumstances people who aren't so closed minded appreciate the view point and differences in someone who varies from them but I have come to realize that you are belligerently subborn and will never change.

I am an Atheist, and you are Christians. I don't tell you how to live your life but I still get told by you how to live mine. Your religion comes from a book and so does mine. There is no correct religion. One is no more right than the other. There are Buddhists, Jews, Muslims, Satanists, Bahaiis, Roman Catholics, Islams, Hindus, Zionists, Confucianists, Pagans, Sunnis, Sihks, Rastafarianists, Shintos, Taoists.. there wouldn't be that many if there was only one that anyone gave a fuck about. I don't judge them, or you, yet you still make the time to judge me. No one is more correct than anyone else is. There is no proof for any religion, thats why they call it "faith", because youre trusting that its true. I believe I was responsible opting for Atheism so as not to belittle anyone who believes something so fully and seriously as all these varieties of people do. I chose to give everyone the respect of believing what they believe and stepping out of something which is too serious and illogical for me to comprehend, and not to mock a religion by calling myself part of one.

I've made choices which, while it was no right for you to pass judgement on, you did anyway. Yes, I dropped out of school and worked. Yes I got pierced. Yes I adore tattoos and I smoke and I this and I that, but I don't tell you you're wrong for the things that you do.

I had to drop out of school. You know how my home situation was at that point, and I couldn't put the added financial, emotional, and physical stress on my grandmother making her responsible for my schooling and needs. I'm at an age where I can , and have, taken care of both myself and my brother, not to mention my parents. If I can do something to benefit her, I will. I always will. Because I appreciate everything she's ever done for me if it means making a personal sacrifiice in gratitude, then so be it. I'm going to be as self efficient as I can in order to alieviate my burdens from others, step up to the plate, and be responsible for myself. It seemed admirable to me, but you seem to think I should be inconsiderate and selfish and that is something I am not now nor ever will be. I had a lot of growing up to do and I did it pretty fucking fast.

I can't work now, because I have to stay home and take care of my brother. I have to make sure he gets up for school, gets home, eats, showers, and stays out of trouble. I realize that its a parental responsibility but my mother can't do all too much with an internal IV leading to her heart thats pumping her full of antibiotics to get rid of a growth in a ventricle which will need replacement. As far as I'm concerned, this compensates for any wrong she ever could do. She had a past, yeah, and I wasn't raised in a very child safe environment, I realize that, and I know you judge her for it just as easily, and I think right now the aftermath is enough for her to look back and regret it. She doesn't need the extra slap in the face from those who act holier-than-thou. Accept what has been done and move on because I see no reason for neither the past nor present of her life having any baring on yours.

As far as my outward appearance, you are petty and shallow if you have a problem with it. I didn't have a childhood and I didn't have a great life but I never sat there and bitched about it. I just wanted to distinctify myself outside as much as I felt inside, and I'm happy with it.

As far as my interest in horror movies/horror music goes, those are just the things I've come to appreciate. It doesn't mean I'm suicidal, it doesn't mean I'm homicidal, and it doesn't mean I take virgin sacrifices. I like adrenaline. I have since I was little, and you should know I've always been that way. I used to like being scared of my jack in the box when I was in my play pen. I used to keep rereading Three Blind Mice because I thought it was funny when they got their tails cut off. I love dressing up on Halloween. It's better to have a sense of humour about death than it is to spend one's whole life fearing it, as far as I'm concerned. And it was never a problem for anyone until I turned 13. That's somewhat backward.

I don't need to hear "Oh, the baby is afraid of you because of those things coming out of your lip" "Are those fish hooks?" "How are you ever going to kiss anybody?" "Well now I know you're never going to have kids" "Why would you do that to your body?" "That's occult!" "This is Satanism", because I never would have made a decision without thinking it through and its just plain offensive that you would consider me as being myopic about who I am and the way I present myself. All I want is to be happy, for once, and if you truely honestly cared about me as much as you pretend that you do, you would give me my space. I'm not hurting anybody.

I don't do drugs. I've never been arrested. It's never hurt me. It's never hurt you. It doesn't isolate me from anyone in society who I would consider to be a genuine person. It doesn't make me any less intelligent or productive. However, it does make you less intelligent and more obviously blind than most people I've ever met in my life. How can you honestly expect me to consider you family when you'd rather pick at me like asinine vultures with no agenda than express care.

Not that I owe you an explanation, but I'm a dignified person and I, unlike others, can justify my actions.